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We’ve been walking through the six areas of becoming a healthy disciple—spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, and socially. Each one matters because together, they reflect the fullness of who Jesus is in us. And tonight, we’re talking about social health—how the people we surround ourselves with shape the person we become.

Let’s start with a little science experiment.
If you’ve ever made coffee, you know you need three things: water, coffee grounds, and a filter. Now imagine you pour the water straight through the coffee grounds without that filter. What do you get? Muddy sludge. It looks like coffee, but nobody’s drinking that!

The filter makes the difference. It catches what doesn’t belong so what passes through is rich, pure, and life-giving.

Here’s the connection: God wants to pour His pure truth and encouragement into your life. But without a filter—without healthy boundaries and godly relationships—the truth can get mixed with the junk that people have spoken over you. What should be life-giving turns into sludge in your heart.

Proverbs 4:23 (NLT) says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”
Your social filter—your friendships, mentors, and relationships—are what help you guard your heart.

Because here’s the truth: who you let in determines who you become.
As Craig Groeschel says, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.”

So, what does healthy social discipleship look like?
Let’s talk about five types of relationships every believer needs to become a strong, healthy disciple of Jesus.

1 Teachers — Those Who Pour Into You

From our first breath, we’ve needed people to teach us—to lead, guide, and show us what we can’t yet see. Spiritually, it’s no different.

Proverbs 9:9 (NLT) says, “Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more.”

We all need people who are a few steps ahead—those who’ve been through the battles, learned the lessons, and can help us grow. Paul modeled this with Timothy:
2 Timothy 2:2 (NLT): “You have heard me teach things… now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on.”

Visual Illustration:
Bring a sponge and a pitcher of water. Show how the sponge absorbs what’s poured into it. Then use a dirty sponge to show how wrong influences can contaminate what we soak up. The lesson? Be careful who pours into your life.

Reflection: Who is teaching you? Who are you intentionally learning from right now?

2 Timothys — Those You Pour Into

Paul didn’t just have teachers; he also had a Timothy—someone younger in faith whom he mentored, loved, and released into ministry.

1 Timothy 1:2 (NLT): “I am writing to Timothy, my true son in the faith.”
Paul didn’t just preach to Timothy; he parented him.

You see, discipleship isn’t just information—it’s impartation. It’s saying, “Follow me as I follow Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1)

When you pour into others, you pass on your spiritual DNA. Like a relay race, you’re handing off the baton to the next generation.

Titus 2:3–4 (NLT) says, “Older women must train the younger…” That’s not a suggestion—it’s a command.

Reflection: Who are you mentoring? Who’s running their race because you handed them the baton?

3 Truth-Tellers — Those Who Keep You Aligned

Ever had your “check engine” light come on in your car and just ignored it? Eventually, that light blinks harder because it’s warning you something’s wrong. That’s what truth-tellers do.

They’re the people who love you enough to tell you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear.

Proverbs 27:6 (ESV): “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”

Paul played this role for Peter in Galatians 2:14, calling him out when his behavior didn’t match the truth of the gospel.

Illustration Idea:
Show a dashboard image with a blinking check engine light. Explain how ignoring it leads to breakdown. In the same way, ignoring godly correction leads to spiritual damage.

As Frank Damazio says: “Alignment determines assignment.”
The people who speak truth into your life determine the fruit of your life.

Reflection: Who in your life can lovingly call you out and keep you aligned with truth?

4 Trustees — Those You Can Be Real With

Everyone needs a “vault” friend—someone who can handle your heart. Someone safe enough to hold your struggles, listen without gossip, and pray with you toward healing.

Proverbs 11:13 (NLT): “A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.”

James 5:16 (NLT): “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”
Notice—it says healed, not just forgiven. Healing comes from confession and connection.

Illustration Idea:
Hold up a locked box. Explain that some people are like open baskets (everything spills out), but a trustee is a lockbox—they protect what you entrust to them.

Reflection: Who’s your vault? Who can you be completely honest with?

5 Tank-Fillers — Those Who Encourage You

We all need people who fill our tanks when we’re running low—people who see God’s potential in us when we can’t see it ourselves.

God told Moses to encourage Joshua in Deuteronomy 3:28, using the Hebrew word ḥāzaq, meaning “to strengthen, to fortify.” True encouragement doesn’t just comfort—it imparts courage.

That’s what the angel did for Gideon in Judges 6:12, calling him a “mighty man of valor” even while he was hiding.

The New Testament echoes this:

  • Hebrews 3:13 (NIV): “Encourage one another daily…”

  • Proverbs 18:21 (NIV): “The tongue has the power of life and death…”

Visual Illustration:
Use a gas can or water bottle labeled “Encouragement.” Pour it into another container labeled “Faith.” Show how words of life refill someone’s spiritual tank.

Reflection: Who fills your tank—and whose tank are you filling?

Final Challenge

So, who are your Teachers, Timothys, Truth-Tellers, Trustees, and Tank-Fillers?

Because the reality is—we all have relationships, but not all relationships are helping us become healthy disciples. If you show me your friends, I’ll show you your future.

Choose your circle wisely, and let your relationships reflect the goodness of Jesus.